I Owe My Mother
(Comical But True Reflections)
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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. - "If you're going
to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. - "You better pray that will come out of the
carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. - "If you don't straighten up, I'm
going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. - " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. - "If you fall out of that swing and break
your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in
case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY. - "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry
about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. - "Shut your mouth
and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. - "Will you look at that dirt on
the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. - "You'll sit there until all that spinach
is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. - "This room of yours looks as if a
tornado went through it."
12 My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. - "If I told you once, I've told you a
million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. - "I brought you into this world,
and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. - Stop acting like
your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. - "There are millions of less fortunate
children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION! - "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. - "You are going to get it when you
get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. - "If you don't stop crossing your
eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. - "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know
when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. - "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. - "If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. - "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. - "Shut that door behind you. Do
you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. - "When you get to be my age, you'll
understand."
25. My mother taught me about ANIMALS. - "Clean your room it looks like a pig
sty."
26. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. - "One day you'll
have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
VISIONS
"Seeing the world not as it is, but as it can be"
"Where there is no vision, the people perish." - Proverbs 29:18
Your Success Newsletter - May-June, 2006 - Published Bi-Monthly
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